


moving forward

by cryingintheclub



Series: so close [2]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: 2019 champion's league semi final, Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingintheclub/pseuds/cryingintheclub
Summary: a study in closure
Relationships: Philippe Coutinho/Roberto Firmino
Series: so close [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523084
Kudos: 10





	moving forward

**ROBERTO CAN'T BELIEVE IT. **

This team - _his_ team - has pulled off the impossible. 

It was never impossible; not with Klopp at the head taking charge, not with Divock with his late-minute winners, not with Gini who is giving Divock a run for his money with the title of _'super sub'_. Here they are, this team, going into a Champion's League final for the second year in a row. And Roberto feels as though they can do it this time, that they can really conquer Europe for a sixth time. 

Roberto blinks away moisture in his eyes as a hand tightly clasps his shoulder. "You okay?" Fab asks lowly, full of concern for Roberto. Roberto knows why - or rather _who_ Fab is referring to. In the midst of the celebrations, Phil has not even crossed his mind. Roberto looks across the field, seeing the Barcelona players making their way off the field, heads down in exhaustion and defeat. Roberto spots Phil in the middle of the group, head down even further than his teammates. 

There's a small, bitter part of Roberto that experiences a sliver of satisfaction. Roberto has suffered over the past year and a half, it is now Phil's turn.

But another part of Roberto feels disappointed, reminding him that something, some_one_ is missing as the players and coaches line up in front of the Kop, passionately singing _You'll Never Walk Alone_ in unison with the fans. Roberto has always thought that Phil would be standing with him as the conquered the world, that the fans would be singing both their names in euphoria. But instead, the fans cheer Roberto's name but spit out Phil's name in venom, now that Phil's blood does not run red anymore. 

But Roberto knows that Phil did leave Liverpool for a reason. That he left to win trophies, to have a greater chance of success at Barcelona that Liverpool never gave him. Phil chose to leave on his own accord, to join a goliath club like Barcelona. But now Liverpool was heading to the Champions League final, not Barcelona. 

Roberto thinks it is funny how life works out. 

The dressing room is buzzing as the players cheer and sing chants, still high on adrenaline after that miracle win. Roberto hugs all his teammates, his bright smile impossible to wipe off his face as phones are shoved in his face, his teammates taking photos or filming videos for their social media accounts. He smiles until he's sore and sings until he thinks he's going to lose his voice. 

Ox suggests to continue the celebrations at his place, earning a loud chorus of cheers from this teammates. Roberto has finished showering and has changed into a fresh set of clothes, ready to head to Ox's place to continue celebrating the miracle win his teammates had just pulled off. Roberto slings an arm around Fab's shoulder, pulling his teammate and friend in close. Fab has a slight frown on his face. 

"What's wrong, _amigo_?" Roberto asks his friend. 

"Phil messaged me. Says he wants to come and congratulate us on the win." 

Roberto's smile vanishes. He feels as though a large weight has fallen on him as he's brought down to earth, the adrenaline and lightweight feeling of victory fading into heartbreak and hurt. "W-what?" 

"He wants to congratulate us," Fab repeats, choosing his words carefully. His frown is still on his lips as he stares at his teammate. Roberto feels scrutinised, so he turns his head, away from Fab. "If you're not okay with it, I can tell him no." 

"No," Roberto says. He's not a selfish person, and although Phil and he ended on bad terms, Phil still had been his teammate, still had been an integral part of this team, of this club. "Who am I to say whether he can come in or not? He wasn't just my teammate." 

"But if it makes you uncomfortable -" 

"No," Roberto cuts Fab off, "I'm done hiding. If I'm going to put this behind me, I need to stop hiding."

Fab doesn't look happy, but he responds, "I'll tell him he can come in." 

Roberto sits down on the bench and plays around on his phone. He responds to messages from his family and friends and then plays a silly game Robbo had found on the app store and convinced Bobby to purchase. It consisted of flipping a piece of bacon onto various objects, such as Kevin Bacon's head, a toothbrush, an ostrich. Only Robbo would find it funny. 

Air leaves Roberto's lungs as Phil walks into the dressing room. He's freshly showered and has changed out of his Barcelona jersey. Roberto feels like he's been pinched in the gut as he sees Phil lingering by the door, arms crossed around his body. The room goes deathly silent, making the situation even more awkward, until Hendo stands up and pulls Phil in for a hug. This breaks the heavy silence in the dressing room, as Ox then goes up to Phil, then Fab, then Milly, then Sadio. Roberto pays close attention to his phone, vehemently tapping his screen to flip the piece of bacon onto Pythagoras' Theorem. 

Virgil sits beside Roberto, shoulder knocking into Roberto's as he does so. Roberto looks up from his phone as Virgil stares at Phil talking to his ex-teammates. Without needing to say it, Roberto knows Virgil feels awkward. _He's_ one-quarter of the four players Liverpool bought with the money from Phil's transfer. 

"You and Coutinho don't speak?" Virgil asks. It's a simple question on Virgil's behalf - Phil was before his time at Liverpool. Roberto swallows down a lump in his throat as he looks at Phil once again. That feeling of being punched in the gut is gone, replaced by a hollow feeling in his stomach. 

"It's - complex," Roberto replies, still looking at Phil. 

From the corner of his eye, Roberto feels Virgil nodding his head, a knowing smile tugging on his lips. "Ah. I see." 

"Do you still love him?" Roberto has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop smiling. He should have known that Virgil would know more than he let on. That the air of naivety was only a facade.

Roberto takes his time answering. _Does he still love Phil?_ Could he still love Phil, the same person to make him feel the happiest in his life, but singlehandedly made him also feel the worst in his life? 

The year-and-a-half since their relationship ended had been turbulent. It had its ups (with Liverpool _so close_ to achieving greatness that Roberto could feel it on the tip of his tongue) and also had its lows (when Roberto would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling the right side of the bed and finding it cold and empty). 

Sure, Roberto _misses_ Phil. They were friends before they became involved. He misses Phil's blinding smile and his ability to make everything better. But does Roberto _love_ Phil? He doesn't know. And he's not in a rush to figure it out, not when this team - _his_ team, are on the verge of greatness. 

Virgil just taps his shoulder as he gets up. Roberto watches as Virgil strides gracefully to the opposite side of the dressing room, wrapping an arm around Gini's shoulders and subtly drawing Gini close. 

Roberto feels... lighter after that talk with Virgil. Although he never gave Virgil an answer, he knows he doesn't have to. He doesn't need to have everything figured out. That realisation makes the weight on his shoulders vanish. 

He feels Phil sitting beside him on the bench without even having to look. 

"Hey, Bobby." 

**Author's Note:**

> blink and you'll miss the subtle virgil/gini pairing


End file.
